Make This Forever
by DarkyDearest
Summary: This is a one shot about Bella and her reasons for wanting Edward to make her a vampire... however there is a very suspenseful twist... I won't give anymore away for now, you'll have to read to enjoy! Cheers!


A/N: So this is a one shot about Bella and her reasoning for wanting Edward to make her a vampire… that's about all you need to know so off you go…. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I never quite could believe that Edward was real. We were lying in my bed, with moonlight slanting through the window and comfortable silence hanging in the air, and I was wishing that I could finally accept this wonderful gift I had been given. Edward was safe. I was safe (for the moment). And we were, most importantly of all, together. But somehow, something in me was still restless. It was expected of course, now that he had returned, that I would be insecure. He had left once, why not again? Although I couldn't put my finger on what was nagging at the edge of my consciousness, the same instinctual feeling told me that it wasn't a fear of him leaving. Ever since my epiphany in the woods, I hadn't had the same trouble as before with believing that someone like Edward couldn't love someone like me. I still didn't understand it, but I didn't disbelieve it either.

The thing that was bugging me, in that place between waking and sleep, lying in Edward's cold embrace was the absolute impossibility that he existed at all. i Yes that was exactly it. /i I thought to myself. What could the odds possibly be that this absolutely ordinary girl would be able to be involved in the absolutely extraordinary relationship? I moved myself to be as close as I possibly could to his hard chest. There wasn't exactly a lot of room for improvement there but he noticed my motion and looked down. I looked up into his eyes and he quickly took in my serious expression through the dark. He quickly ducked his head down and pressed his cold lips against mine, before pulling back and smiling at me with some amount of sorrow deep in his eyes. I knew he thought that the doubt in my expression came from distrust, so I smiled as sincerely as I could. In the moment after he kissed me it wasn't surprising that my grin was real.

I closed my eyes and placed my head back on his chest. i I'm just going to have to accept that this isn't a dream. This is my life. /i I told myself as I drifted to sleep.

i This isn't a dream…..This is my life…… /i 

I awoke with a start, sitting straight up; my eyes were wide open. I couldn't keep them that way for long though because for some reason a burning light was blinding me. Even with my eyes closed the light tried to intrude. I threw myself back against the bed and pushed my face into my pillow.

"Beee-laaaa!" a very familiar sing-songing voice called from somewhere out of the room. The voice made me sit straight up again, eyes wide open, despite the harsh Phoenix sun, in horror. I looked around me, hands clutching hard at the bedspread under me. "Bella?" my mother called again from the kitchen. I could smell the bacon she was trying and failing, not to burn. I threw myself from the bed and hit the floor hard; no one was there to catch me after all. Scrambling I ran to he window.

Outside I could see the neighborhood I grew up in stretching out below our house. It was situated on the top of a hill so that the other red tiled roofs created a sprawling mosaic punctuated by bright blue swimming pools. It was early, probably about seven or eight in the morning, so the streets winding between the houses were fairly quiet, yet already the light was brighter than I could recall seeing since I had been running across a plaza in Italy. Immediately I spun and looked frantically around the room. Everything was just as it had always been. Scattered books on the desk, a pile of clean laundry on the floor, and an open Emily Bronte novel by the bed. I was stunned and confused by the scene in front of me. How did I get here? I looked down at myself. I was wearing a large tee shirt from my high school in Phoenix. I was not wearing a light blue button down shirt that belonged to my stunning vampire boyfriend.

With a growing sense of foreboding I raised my hand and stared at it. The skin was smooth and unblemished. I lifted the other hand it too was perfectly normal. There was no scar to be found anywhere. A shock ran from the crown of my head all the way down my body.

Suddenly the door burst open and my mother leaned into the room smiling. "Breakfast sweetie! I made bacon. You have a dentists appointment in a little while so I didn't think you would mind me waking you up so early on a Saturday…" She trailed off and her smile faded, as she took in my expression. "Honey what's wrong?" "Mom, what's the date?" my voice sounded very calm. She told me. The date she gave was one day after I had gotten on the plane to Forks. "That's impossible." My voice was fainter this time, and I could tell that she was starting to see that something was really wrong. I involuntarily slid to the floor with my back against the wall and my head resting against the window sill.

Tears poured down my face and I could feel my lips shaking, my whole body was trembling. "Bella, what's wrong?!" she rushed over and threw herself onto her knees next to me, putting her hands on my face and tilting my head to look at her. "Mom, I'm supposed to be in Forks! With Charlie… with Edward!" I was hyperventilating now, my chest heaving and my eyes blurring. "Honey, it's okay! You didn't go remember! I got you to change your mind yesterday just in time! I'm glad of that now…" She thought that my distress was caused by the thought of Forks, not by the fact that I wasn't there right now. There where I should be. There where he was. Or I thought was… I threw myself up and lurched towards the bedside table.

"Bella! What are you doing it was just a dream!" "I need to talk to Charlie! Now! I need to talk to Edward!" the handset was missing from its cradle and I began tearing apart the room looking for it. My mother followed me, trying to get me to stop and finally succeeding in getting a hold of my shoulders and pushing me down on the bed. She looked directly into my frantic eyes and used her most no-nonsense mom voice. "Bella. Look at me. Who is Edward?" She was looking at me like I was crazy. I let that sink in for a moment before I screamed and threw her off of me running for the phone in the living room.

Phil was sitting on a bar stool at the bar the separated the living area and the kitchen with a forkful of eggs halfway to his mouth. At the sight of me crying and disheveled his hand froze and his mouth stayed open. I ignored him and grabbed up the phone on the coffee table, concentrating on trying to dial Charlie's number. I was calling him first because I couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding that had been growing ever since I noticed the absence of my scar. Every time I thought of Edward the feeling seemed to grow.

When my fingers finally decided to cooperate I pressed the phone to my ear with enough force to turn my knuckles white. As the phone on Charlie's end began to ring I could see Phil giving my mom a questioning look out of the corner of my eye. She shrugged at him and he turned to stare half concerned and half confused at me. I turned around and began to gnaw on the nails of my free hand. Just then Charlie picked up.

"Hello?" the greeting was barely out of his mouth before I was speaking. "Charlie!" I didn't have time for niceties, and didn't worry about the use of his real name. "thank god you picked up!" "Bella?" his voice was sad and heartbreakingly hopeful, he thought I had reconsidered. Oh if he only knew. "Yea it's me!. Charlie I need you to answer a question for me." "Okay…" he was obviously thrown off balance by my urgency. "Charlie, do you know Dr. Cullen's home phone number?" Silence. "Charlie?" "Bella who is Dr. Cullen? Is everything alright? You sound strange…" I dropped the phone to the floor with a thud. The sun streamed in onto the wood floor under my bare feet, yellow and warm. I could still hear Charlie's voice coming faintly out of the earpiece of the phone. "Bella? Bella?"

i "Bella, I've never known anyone named Cullen……. /i 

I awoke screaming to the cold dark of my bedroom in Forks. I immediately started to cry with relief at the sound of rain pounding on my window until I looked around. Then my tears became real when I realized that I was alone. Suddenly the door burst open and Charlie ran in. "Bella! I haven't heard u scream like that since…Well I came to wake you up… sorry I'll let you get back to sleep. Goodnight sweetie." He said this in an embarrassed rush. He was still unsure of how to deal with talking about my months as a zombie. I couldn't have formed the words to ask the same question again if I had wanted to. I stayed silent and let him leave.

Even before the door had closed completely, I had thrown myself backwards onto the bed and squeezed my eyes shut against the tears. I was trying to get up the courage to look at my hands again, surely they would be unmarred? Surely this was reality? I tried unsuccessfully to convince myself that this was another dream and that I wasn't really alone here. Alone everywhere?

A light breeze brushed over my face, making me open my eyes involuntarily. A luminous, worried face was hovering so close to my own that I screamed again, simply out of shock. Edward's hand shot up, to cover my mouth gently. Predictably I began to cry again. The accumulation of shock, and hope, and the pure emotional stress of the evening pouring in salty waves out of my eyes. As soon as he was sure that I wasn't going to call Charlie back with another shriek, he slid his hand from my mouth and began to stroke the side of my face. He was supporting himself on his knees and one hand over me, so that our eyes were perfectly aligned only inches apart. I searched his eyes for any sign that this wasn't real. Their golden perfection, shot through with darkness was able to convince me that it was worth hoping.

Trembling I lifted my hand in front of my face to find a long white line separating the skin, cool and smooth. I finally took a shaking breath and caught the impossibly real scent of Edward's cool skin. I closed my eyes and smiled, finally secure.

Usually by this point Edward would have been soothing me verbally, trying to reassure me that we weren't, at the moment, in a foreign country watching innocents walk willingly to the slaughter, and that he was in fact here and very in love with me. This particular evening however, he had been silent, he seemed to somehow sense that this was not the same sort of dream that had been plaguing me. Just because I no longer held the same fear of him leaving didn't mean that I couldn't still fear losing him. I closed my eyes and smiled slowly. This seemed to reassure him that I was okay; he shifted so he was lying at my side, holding me.

Not wanting to make anything more difficult than it needed to be I turned my head to the side and pressed my lips to his neck with as little motion as possible. I could almost hear the crooked smile that would fill his face now and at that moment I vowed to myself that I would somehow become a vampire. I would ensure an eternity with Edward, no matter what kind of pain I had to endure. I would make this real. I would make it forever.

I wouldn't be sleeping anymore tonight, but that was alright with me. "I love you Edward." I whispered knowing that even if it made no sound he would read the vibrations of my breath on his skin. "I love you more than anyone could ever know." He said into my hair. Sincerity saturated his declaration. I believed i in /i him even if I couldn't believe in him.

i I will make this real. I will make this forever… /i 


End file.
